Parenting, I Just Wanna Be a Good Dad.
“I just wanna be a good dad”. It is a statement that doesn’t comes easy from the horse’s mouth, however after the read word from the Pope of Vatican, I found myself uttering the word silently from my mouth almost forming a whispers that most of you will recon with, the whispers wasn’t clued into until recently.
Over a process of months my wife and I discussed becoming parents, started trying and fell pregnant. Each stage removed a layer of abstraction from my reflections on fatherhood until the last hypothetical’s came falling down under the weight of a sudden discovery. The scan results, ‘whoever invented the scan must have been crazy’. I murmur to myself.
We’re having a boy. She said, Until this moment I felt no need to consider how sex or gender might affect my parenting, but in the realisation our child was a boy, I felt a need to come to grips with my own masculinity. Otherwise how could I teach my son – “how to be a man”? No “I just wanna be a good dad”. That’s all that matters.
Beyond technical advice on different parenting strategies, communicating with partners and the like, there are deep questions about the relation between a man’s identity and his fatherhood but for the time being, most men are left to contemplate alone. I felt compelled to share my sentiments/feeling on the issue.
Kids need love, but they don’t understand the word “love” on any level. You might as well use the term “care” with them because, to an infant, it means the same thing as nothing. So holding your baby and telling her, “Daddy loves you,” is pretty much meaningless. Look,
I would be lying if I told you that in an infant’s life, the dad is as important as the mom. When it comes to caring for an infant, and instinctively knowing what to do with a newborn baby, women have the upper hand, and being a mommy is a much harder job than being a daddy.
But you know what kids do understand a loving touch. Hugging them, snuggling them, and kissing them makes them feel loved. It is a basic way humans communicate love, but some fathers feel awkward showing love in this way. Get over it. A kid needs to feel loved, always, and you have within your power a guaranteed way to make them know they’re loved. A kid that knows they are loved is a happy kid, the kind of kid that runs and jumps into your arms when they see you.
You will never, never regret being affectionate with your child, because you will be able to send a “you’re loved” message right to your kid’s heart anytime with just a simple peck on the forehead, a quick hug before school, or even just tousling their hair as they walk by. A dad’s loving touch is amazingly powerful; it sends a message to your child that words can’t always convey. By the way, high-five doesn’t count. It’s a celebration and never considered sign of affection.
Let me hope that the bunch of magazines that I have picked recently will help me in understanding more in these new world of parenting as I continue to murmur the song in my heart “I just wanna be a good dad”.